A shark with lasers attached to its head beat a monkey driving a pickup truck when the monkey drove into the water after the shark.  From this matchup we learned monkeys don't do so well in water while being pulled down by a 2 ton automobile.

Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. a puppy seemed like a very lopsided match-up on paper.  The puppy baffled the governor using his agility, spinning him in circles.  Frustrated by the puppy's speed and yapping, Arnold left himself open.  The puppy latched onto Arnie's leg, toppling the beefy politician and exposing his Terminator circuitry.  A friendly puppy lick finished the Governator in a cloud of short-circuit fireworks. 

A cardboard box vs. water seemed like an even fight going in, but water quickly showed its domination.  From the sound of the opening bell, water was all over the cardboard box, pouring itself inside.  The box held briefly until the water forced its bottom to give way proving just how unwaterproof cardboard really is.

Arnold Schwarzenegger in an Austrian tank seemed like he would be too much for Barry Bonds, but Bonds was juiced and ready.  After beating on the tank with his bat to no avail, Bonds stuffed a baseball inside the barrel of the tank's gun making it nothing more than a pipe bomb.  As you might imagine, the resulting explosion cost Arnold the victory and the chance to redeem himself after his earlier loss to a puppy.

A bear driving a pile driver did what dozens of bad guys and desperados have failed at for years.  He took out Clint Eastwood.  The fact of the matter is, he probably ended Mr. Eastwood's acting career.  While Clint was busy monologuing about how many bullets were left in his gun, the bear squashed him.  With Clint's experience in politics, its surprising he spent so much time talking and didn't fire first.

Rosie O'Donnell is one of the deadliest predators known to man.  Put her on a pogo stick and surely a marshmallow peep would stand no chance.  There was one thing Rosie hadn't counted on though - the laws of physics.  She might be able to take on Donald Trump or any of The View ladies in an argument, but there is no arguing the natural laws of the universe.  As Rosie approached the defenseless peep, her pogo stick could no longer hold her immense proportions and gave way. With Rosie left splattered on the ground, the peep was declared victorious.

Chuck Norris vs. Godzilla with a chainsaw.  Even with 10 million chainsaws, this is CHUCK NORRIS!  No 100 foot irradiated monster with radioactive breath will ever stand a chance under any conditions.

A paparazzi duck with a flash camera was able to defeat Spiderpig with a light saber after the constant camera flashes made Spiderpig dizzy enough to catch himself with the light saber.  Unfortunately, as the paparazzi duck celebrated his victory, a bitter Arnold Schwarzenegger ran up from behind and  landed a big kick punting the paparazzi duck to some far off location.  Apparently Arnold was still upset from his earlier losses to a puppy and to Barry Bonds and was looking for another chance to make a name for himself.  It's not that big of a shock, he did say "I'll be back," after his last loss.